Young blood always foolish with harsh truth of life.

My today morning started with a picture message a simple funny one but it had picture of resuscitation which was fine but my experience with it took me somewhere else. The train of thoughts and memory began running and disturbing me for few hrs..

It was 17 oct evening i remember exactly now, when my brother came running to me saying neighbours calling me their granny not feeling well. Being in a small town and living in a small colony whole neighborhood is knitted like a family, and the old lady was like a grand mother for us too even we called her dadi ( grand mom ) only.

Well doubting the worst I ran to their house as few days back only when I went to see her, I doubted her health and on symptoms which she was telling me I strongly recommend her to go to cardiologist or physician , but she said she lived her life  and it’s her age of being victim of different diseases therefore don’t want to spend money on doctors and trouble her family.

It was her call what could I say , yet i tried my best to counsel her about the worst outcomes if she stay with her decision, but u can always counsel man who is afraid of death or life but never a one who has no will of living and is content with it..

Well back on track, when I reached there I found her sitting on chair with mouth open , eye closed..My heart sank I checked her vitals quickly, no pulsation in radial artery, pupil dilated. I turned numb assuming cardiac arrest and her death from it. But any how collecting my self I ask her daughter-in-law standing near by since how long she is lying like this ? She said just two mins back she was talking to them. I without giving a second thought , checked her carotid artery where there was slight jugular vein pulsation avoiding my seniors practical advice never to give it an attention in old age, I started giving her CPR and mouth to mouth resuscitation, she was my own how can I gave up without trying. She took two short breaths during my trying to resuscitate her which I gave for 10-15 mins with all my energy. I got a hope I shouted her family to react fast and call ambulance.
But it turn out they called me to declare death and not to try to rescue her, I was asking running here and there to act fast. Meantime someone called near by another doctor and he gave the answer they wanted to know, of course why would he try hard on stranger old lady..

Yes practically her chances of survival were least even if acted on time. But young blood failing to accept death practically, felt foolish on trying to turn it away.. I was shocked how elder people ( her son , daughter in law, husband, old senior doctor) accept death so soon and we younger one ( me and her grand child who came later with teared eyes at my door asking I tried all measures to save her na ?) less feared from death , yet how hard we try to beat it and fail to accept it at once…
With time and age acceptance for few things and maturity how to deal with them come no doubt in that now…



120 seconds of different life I felt at traffic signal

Empty roads , greenery around ,cool winds blowing playing with my hairs making me tickle Riding back to home at speed of 80. And Here comes the Traffic roads causing me to leave all the fun of driving behind and thus came red light making me halt here for  120 seconds.
Here it’s the time where something strike you out of blue but today no random thoughts, not remembering some forgotten work , but is a sad reality of life which strike me here , at red light what I saw is a life enough to shattered me, poverty to make me sadden enough..
Two kids aging around 5 -6 one dressed and had make up of a monkey another with a stick and a tiny drum , performing a small art of monkey dance and collecting money on this signal. I wonder is this the childhood they have ? Is this the only game they are made to play ? Is’nt it their age to enjoy the dramas, to understand and relish what entertainment is all about, how can  these little kids are left to earn their living? art of begging involving the kids, read about it number of times but never imagined it exist in my weirdest dream, I thought it’s wrong but then i saw traffic police sideling them to corner stopping them from disturbing us.
I wanted to do something for them but right now not in position to do any. But gladly I got candies in my purse , I bend down to pick my purse from floor of my scooter where it’s resting, but I forgot I am @ red light and here this 120 seconds got over in my thinking about the scenario around, green light blink, and time which i always curse for lasting so long i curse it for slipping so fast. Vehicles start honking giving me no time to take out candies for those little kids and despite of feeling their pain and wanting to give them something I cowardly  left those pleading eyes in my rush..


Blogging is a beautiful gift one can give to themselves indeed


I m not a writer, yet I write here. I m a newbie in this world . sometime I write bad, sometime just fine, sometime worth reading. But whatever I write all is a mirror of my soul and mind. Therefore bad or good all give peace to me once I finish with them.
But this blogging is not only about what we express and how we express but it also give us a chance to read different kind of work , to understand world from others eye, to connect us with anonymous different writers, to live different life through reading their work. Itz like putting yourself in their shoes and living what they felt through their work.
Once in a school i remember we had a story explaining us the importance of reading , how man being in a solitude lived his life and got fine knowledge of world being in an imprisonment for 20 years just by being in a contact with all kind of books and in habit of reading them where as his friend was in depression and living a miserable life in spite of having a good social and family life.
Story remembered here for that’s what this blogging giving us life, inspiration, knowledge of understanding and knowing world better. Yha I agree being social is an important part of life and I m  not a nerd too . But how can i not talk about and praise the thing which is giving me and teaching me so much daily in my life. The platform which give me inspiration from within, make me confident by making me meet myself , the one where i came to know I m not alone whole world is like me. How can I not talk about it.
We all have pains , we all have beauty of life inside. Things shared here are talking about the same in one or other way. When we are disappointed the pain of others give us inspiration if they can live with it then we can live with our’s too. Beauty of life shared here give us hope show us rainbow in dark sky’s giving us a message that life has this beauty and we may get to live it too one day, as we ourselves had lived it a bit while reading it.
Pouring ourselves out give us a peace of mind and soul, confidence to deal with ourselves and the surroundings. Once i read somewhere talking is good , and  keeping things inside kill man. So here is our saviour where we keep talking, keep sharing whatz inside us. Keeping listing what other’s have. And even if someone is lonely they are never alone if they have this beautiful friend with them. Blogging is a beautiful gift one can give to themselves indeed. And I Am thankful to it. I can’t thank every article i read here which make me live them while i m reading them, which inspires me, which teach me something  but through this blog a big thank to them and to wordpress for making me meet and live the new world , new life.


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My strange relationship with Almighty and Gratitude for yet bestowing his blessings on me.

thank you lord

Geting ready for work seeing myself in mirror and i felt something , i felt grateful to God for he given me so much without asking. I wonder why ? My relationship with Almighty is strange and sometime hard for people to understand. Even sometime people consider me Atheist. I dn’t feel offended though i just wonder do i ?

Being Hindu we have so many rituals, so many ways of showing our love to God but I hardly knew few, I hardly follow few, i rarely fast, i rarely go to temples.Daily going to God place never came in my routine. Even if on my way to work I pass to some Temple, Church or Gurudwara and I feel the calling to stop and pay the visit I shut it and say will get late to work that will not be good and just say short prayer of mine while passing his holy places. Never gave lord special time. Was God happy with me for me dedicated more to my work and life he bestowed to me than to him. I might had not shown my love to him , my faith to him but I never disrespected him and tried my best never to any of his child, I simply get moving what he bestowed me with , I simply went giving what i can . My love, my care, my understanding, my best helping hand to who so ever I met in this life. I believed in serving and relishing his creation more than him .Atheist or not i dn’t know. But i tried to find him in all.

And seeing myself in mirror as a strong , beautiful lady and with all these thoughts playing in my mind i wonder what i did for the lord that he bestowed me with the beauty of a lady to relish, with the brain to b wise, with the power of patience and understanding towards other , with the strength to digest all the pain and enjoy the solitude, with the little weird yet most beautiful family and friends . I dn’t remember anything special i had done for the Lord yet he bestowed me. Rembering all this i felt so thankful and sorry @ the same time not for not being a great lover to lord but if unknowingly i had done something which he dose’nt wanted me to do, had hurt any of his child, in short if unknowingly i had  ever failed Almighty with the purpose he has sent me on this earth.


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Man, woman and science of their relationship


Sitting ,eating , working and along with all other daily chores I am fighting  with conflicts of thoughts occurring in my  mind which further  stucked me with some hypothesis and that gave me answers of lots of things today.

Everyone wants partner in their life but all have some and other motive for the same. So watz a science of man and woman and their relationship. I think basicaly there are two types of women. One wants man in her life for love and other wants man in her life for money . Same way there are two types of men. One wants woman in his life for love and other one for physical needs. Now the woman wanting only love and man wanting the same in life seems to be of same frequency and a good match but rarely they get along reason might be for the woman wanting only love means she is independent financially and at her own a bit kind of strong one . So might be cn’t take dominancy in her life like her man telling what to do what not to do, and Man wanting only love might be a sensitive man and bit insecure always fearing of loosing love he get so might have trust issues too thats why he might try to keep his woman according to him and this may lead to arise in conflicts and leave them apart. Now man wants woman only for physical needs and woman wanting man only for money both seems to be materialistic hence same frequencies and seems to be good together but man here seems to b more space loving ,  practical hence may not like keep fulfilling his woman finacial needs at his loss. At same woman might b insecure abt his man as knowing his nature and not wanting to loose her comfort provided by her man so she might try to hold him tight, control him and all this might raise conflicts resulting in aparting them.

Now when man wanting love and woman wanting money when they come along , Man  keep giving woman what she wants and woman keep doing what his man wants as she is dependent on him here both are secure with what they want and both dominancy work for each other hence though of different frequencies both succeed in geting along with eachother. And same way man wanting only pysical and woman wanting only love when they come along,  Man give his woman complete freedom and space as he don’t have fear of losing her as not dependent on her emotionally and woman being busy with her work and loving the space and love she gets from her man keep giving what her man wants and along keep giving the space he needs. Here both get secure with their needs and hence inspite of differences in their frequencies they get along as space thing work for them here.

So actually The man and woman relationship is not that complicated and neither a rocket science but yha bringing different frequencies along together @ starting is a tuff job 😉


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Females love butterflies, why ?


I love butterflies and always wonder why ? what’s in it which make females love this insect so much. Well my reason is i love it for the wings and colours it has . Bt again in my assumption only insect which is loved so much by females why ? what so special?

Do all females all over world are in same shell in some or other way that all fall in love with same creature. Like me do all aspire for their wings ,do all aspire to see different colours of world with their wish, see and spread all colours of life. For i strongly believe females are blessed with lots of beautiful life colours in them sadly they are ask to behold them , we all know females love for colours is it because of the same, the colours they behold within make them choose same to express themself in silent . Back to topic , Why butterflies only ? does beauty attract or beauty with wings ? If this creature would have been love of all men  answer would be simple beauty with wings 😉 for they fall for outer beauty and love to play game of  running behind things.  But females are different they never fall for something on it’s outer look and hate playing games and run after anything. Then what’s in this insect which connect all the ladies in falling for it ? Does what we all aspire for ourself and find that in that tiny creature make us all fall for it.. Strange…


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Delusion of accepting new changes and leaving old behind.

All of sudden life seems to b changing it’s routien, i m not sure to b happy or sad for it, i m in total delusion. I want to enjoy dis new changes but it costing lot to me. I m going to resign next month, frm next month i won’t b geting ready going to hospital, taking rounds, giving morning smiles to patients. No morning drive enjoying morning life @ road. Bt again this was something i wanted , i signed myself for it . so when now the changes are happening why i m scared to lose wat i was having and worrying how i wl b blending in new atmosphere. But then again i think itz human geting scare of new things and still wanting them. I m scared of loosing my comfort zone @ which i m right now. Then new place, new ppl , new life they too will b providing so much to me (hope so) if not much will surely take me bit away from pressure of marriage i m burden wid @ home. I know my parents are not wrong about it but y go with such a big thing for which i feel i m not ready.

I will miss my family , my work for sure but this is something i need for my personal growth, i need to move out from my nest now. I m seeing weird expressions in ppl eyes who know i m leaving, they all bit depended on me and i m on them too. I dn’t know this is my necessity or my only option. As life demands moving on and frm past 3&1/2 yr i m stuck @ same not growing, not moving just stuck so in delusion chages are good or bad ? was stucking, being consistence is good ? or seeing ,trying and experiencing new ?  but whatever this is,  this is choosen by me and I think by God too for me. I simply wish and ask God to  give strength  to  me to move on this path with all patience and faith for life. May new things make me more better wid myself and wid this world.  Huhu finger cross…

( i m leaving my home town for further studies three yr course far away frm here, giving all my savings too it, and my job too , wondering what if it took all and turn out not good for me , bt datz wat life is all about taking risk and trying new callings )


Syrian kid taught how weak human race is.

syrian boy

It has been days of syrian kid news and that innocencyng lying dead on beach has disturbed each soul according to me. But i was wondering what we as human has achieved , this ? We need identity to live , to have basics of life. And this identity is so cheap that could be played by any political hand. Aren’t animals more secure and free then human these days. They are allow to live where ever they want, race their progenies any where they feel safe for them, there is no border for them .where human race bounded in so many lines that crossing any line chossing any way of survival lead them to risk their life.Are we really growing or ??

The laws we made for society, the religion there to keep human in line of being right or wrong. Y all falling apart ? Y the greed of man surviving and damaging his race ? Y the faith is shaking itz root ? Y human forget his basic motto to survive and let all other of his race to survive with same dignity ? Y his motto of survival turn in greed of dominating others ? Y human is the only race enemy of his own race ? Y we devided in so many different forms that we forget that @ first we all are human , species with finest brain and heart to serve, but forgeting the prime , human get busy in serving the secondary ,the caste, religion,all means dividing human in one or  other forms. Y the secondary ,greed of dominating is served more than primary serving the man kind… All these questions have only one purpose to open eye and save human race from killing each other & to stop making surviver of own species tough… May humanity rise in each heart of human..


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day to celebrate teaching of all teacher’s and birthday of lord Krishna teacher of world.


I m so glad to celebrate Janmastmi and teacher’s day on same day…so happy to celebrate the teachings of all my teacher’s and b’day of lord with his great teachings.. Lord Krishna who taught me and whole world science and philosophy of life, who taught us the philosophy of Karma, who gave us the courage to live life by following the righteous path shown by our heart, who taught us to be believer, who show us the meaning of friendship & love, who taught us to be down to earth and never feel shy in serving others, and there’s a lot and lot taught by our lord Krishna by his teachings and his living ( of course can’t write or summaries Geeta here 😉 )

I find him the most lively and practical lord in whole mythology. Has it been not his teachings then how world has been fearing their deeds ? has he had not taught devotion of love would world be knowing the meaning of love? Has he had not taught the art of living with friends , would world be knowing it ? Has he had not chosen to guide the lost the right path would world be knowing the meaning of guidance ? His life, His philosophy, his teachings, his lessons all gave us courage to live our life happy and in a right way.


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stop complaining and be thankful is a right way to live.

thank to life

Sitting and thinking a lot today like always.but earlier i have no where to pen down my thoughts, but thanks to today’s techonolgy for bestowing man with all they need.

On my way to work i was relishing all the normal day to day stuff ,  kids with cute uniform and  heavy bags(ahh these bags not good part here) are going to school, morning cool breeze blowing, greenry of parks i cross on my way, Poor ppl sitting out of temples to seek some help from devotes cmng there . Nothing new but just thn saw poor lady happy outside a temple on getting some food by one of the devote came there to donate some fruits to dese ppl. On geting fresh fruit that poor lady eye started glowing, sparked..i was driving by and just got a glimpse of it and it keep me  thinking whole day. Her sparkling eye which glimpse i got by chance , keeping me think so much ,  why was that sparkle in her eye ? was it for getting fresh fruits , was it for she had never got it , or was it something she got for her kid, was she too hungry that a little food given by man gave her all the thing she needed. Then i started thinking why beggars are sitting outside holy places is it because of crowd coming there or beacause they think and know ppl come here to connect wid God and the one who  came wid that intention and have sources will never ignore God’s creature seaking help (after all poor or what they too are bestow wid best mind on dis planet won’t they b doing there maths before askng people to help thm.)

Well thinking all dis i reached my work place had bit work here finished it thn asa i got free and was left with nothing to do i got lost again in my thoughts , this time i was thinking about myself, my life and started feeling sorry about something and was complaining in my mind  just thn morning thing strike and i felt huu m i sick ? Do i have rght to complain about anything to God?  Haven’t i have a lot what if i have bit ups and downs , what if i dn’t have few things i wanted. Should i b selfish and complaining for my pitty things to the one who gave me so much, who protected me in this world from all the bad out there without my asking.

The poor, the rich, the mediocre no one is blessed in dis world wid what all they want. It’s rule of life. The few who have a lot  and missing a bit complain to God , the few like those beggars who have nothing but when get a bit thank to God. It’s all about living right finding the happiness with what you have. If we want to live and feel life we have to stop complaining him for what we don’t have and should stop feeling sorry for ourself. Instead  thank him for what all he gave us and should be relishing it..


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