अजीब हो गयी दुनिया मेरी

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अजीब हो गयी दुनिया मेरी ,
विचार न मिले किसी  के ,
तो देशद्रोही बना चला वो उसे l

नफरत कि लहर चली अजीब अब ,
दुश्मनो से लड़ते लडते ,
अपनों से लड़ रहे हैं अब l
कल तक लड़ते थे धर्म पे ,
आज लड़ रहे विचारो पे सब l

अजीब हुयी दुनिया मेरी ,
कैसे समजाऊँ इस को अब ,
ना है जो किसी साथी के दिल मे नफरत मेरे ,
देखता है इंसानियत सब मे,
अगर वो जो पहले ,
न दिखता किसी देश, धरम में , दुश्मन अगर उसे  ,
मत बना उसे दुशमन, उस के देश का ही, उसको तू ,
मत नाप तोल नफरत के पैमाने मे उसको तू l

देख मोहब्बत देश के लिये उस में तू ,
मर मिटने का जज़्बा देश के लिये , देख उस में तू ,
 नाप तोल मोहब्बत के पैमाने से जरा उसको तू l

रो दिया जो वो देख दुश्मन का दर्द ,
मरे बच्चों को देख, पाकिस्तान में हुए आतंक में ,
रोया जो दिल उसका,
तो देशद्रोही वो नही l

जो खौला न खून उस का दुशमन को देख ,
जो देख़ कसाब जैसो को, न हुआ मन वहीं मारने का उसे ,
तो देश द्रोही बोल उसे तू l

P.s. I wrote this poem on present scenario of my country, where few ppl think they got right to declare anyone  nationalist or anti nationalist, on base of expression of views of a person, and amount of less hatred that person carry in his/her hearts comparative to these peoples.

P.C. Google

~Sneha

You are ruined not me

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Note~ on recent Bangalore molestation incidence

Freely walking on road,

Happy I am in my world,

But you the Mr. Judgmental out there,

Can’t see me, dancing on tunes of surroundings here,

Just living myself,

You can’t bear my happiness,

So envious you are of my sanity,

You try to harm me, for you can’t bear me, being what I am.

You enforce your insanity on me.

Thinking it will harm me,

I would be beaten down,

Left with all my dignity stolen by you.

REALLY ?

Yes I do feel insulted, but then,

I smile on your character,

worst which is than an animal,

your thinking of being superior,

where your hideous act just made you inferior of all.

Reflects your weak morale,

Shows your failure,

Failure of becoming someone hero ever.

In your trying to molest me I fight back,

I punch you,

I may win over you or lose,

for unprepared I am.

And you coming to attack well planed for sure,

You may win, but what you ever won ? I wonder that,

I may loose, plus did ever I lose anything ? I wonder to that.

For I will always stand with a pride,

Head up high with dignity,

For I fought back the beast like you.

But you loose your all,

Of all living beings, inferior you proved.

Not able to gain respect from a single woman,

Your manhood is now in a trash.

Even, never ever you will be hero to your daughter.

Your existence is wrecked by you only that day.

Never it was me.

~Sneha

P.C. google

Cutzpa/ Madness

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Today while counselling one of a friend at a heart broken stage , many thoughts came to me on my observation on boys, girls and their relationships which I have seen till date. So today I am simply expressing my views on people who fall with wrong ones, their view after breakups, and what exactly it is. And yes the madness they were living while being in a relationship.

Cutzpa / madness yes it is in all of us, because of this many of us fall for ppl who are opposite to us, wonder why, i think it’s simple universal rule “opposite attracts” .

Because of this madness only, Good boys fall for wrong girls, tolerate their tantrums, unnecessary demands, keep paying their shopping bills also carry their bags (poor guys), yet they left heart broken, and they keep on saying girls are bitches, yes they are but not all, unfortunately you got one of them and on name of love you ignore all her flaws in spite of her having lots of them, and she when get a better option, start seeing only flaw of yours which were very less in you, because of her unstable nature, yet you were stick to her, this is what madness/cutzpa of yours was.

Same goes with girls, good girls fall for wrong boys, tolerate their attitude, their always being busy, their filthy talks, only interest of them in body, understand their needs on name of love (poor girls) yet they are left heart broken, then they keep on saying all men are dogs, yes they are but not all, same, unfortunately you got one of them and you ignore all his flaw adjust with him on name of love, but unfortunately he always saw flaw in you because of his unstable nature, yet you keep trying your best to hold him, were stick to him till last and this is what chutzpa/madness of yours was.

It’s not love, boy, or girl who are bad, it’s just you fallen for wrong. Wrote this because if someone reading my blog and is still in one of that mad love, than it might be a help to them to move on, though know they won’t, they will try till last, will give there all to hold it, will have their own experience then with time will overcome with it.
(I m Not a relationship expert, these are just my observation and view based on them)

~ Sneha

p.c. google

Life complexity and it’s simple rule

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Life is simple but yet complex and weird, not in case of mine only, but of all I think, as it is life, complex and weird is what it is always, that is what is needed always to keep it moving, keep it in it’s pulsatile motion, straight it can’t be lived ever.

What is a formula to live ? people always wonder, for all are scared of the weirdness and it’s down motion which they have to face off and on, tantrums of life we can say it  in that way too.

Few people say listen to your heart and live few say listen to your mind and live, few say listen to other people, experienced one and live accordingly.

Truth is neither your heart, neither your mind , neither the experienced people will save you from facing what has to be there for you, you need to have your own experience of life, It’s not true that your heart will always take you on right path, it may make some mistakes, may make you fall for wrong people, but still live with your heart, live your mistakes, for whatever they will be, they will be your, your own experience.

Your mind, it is  also a myth that it is wise always, sometime listening to it may leave you nowhere,  even alone too may be, But still listen to it for it is your own voice to guide, Whatever outcome it will be, you will be living yourself.

People they may be right sometimes but they will never lead you on a right track for sure, your mind and heart may or may not be right but living according to people will never be, for in that case you will never live your life.

There is a saying ” listen to all but do only what your voice says to you” for in true sense that is a way to live, live by your heart, live by your brain, live by yourself, give your self chance to prove not to people around and their words, make your own route, gain your own experiences, make your own mistakes, love all you meet in this way, get bit hurt, no harm in anything but you have to live, you have to feel all emotions, pulsatile life you have to live it that way, and remember no regret for living yourself ever, for it’s you and your life.

You never harmed anyone, you never ditched anyone, so for having your bad experiences never regret, for life would have given you that anyway, if listened to yourself or not, at least here you know you gave yourself a chance, you listened to yourself.

It’s not about what you want always, but what life wants for you, so just go with the waves, live your voices, love all, give all what you can, and never regret. For yes life is complex, weird but simple for it has only one rule ” live yourself “.

sneha

p.c. google

Just a Concern voice not an Anti-nationalist

“Har naazariye se dekhne ki Nazzar mil jaye,
Duniya samaj loon vho samaj mil jaye ”
I know it’s too late, to share my view on JNU matter, but what could I had said when I myself was not sure whats going around, people near me who so ever was discussing the matter shut me down when I start giving my view on it, for it was bit different from them, they start hating me making fun of me coz of my perspective, never this happened before  in spite of my having different view most of the time than others. This made me doubt on my approach too, though I always thought I can think and see things more clearly than my fellow ppl on some issues, but yet I felt either something is wrong with me or seriously wrong with my countrymen.

I wished I would have been wrong, but bitter truth is my country present scenario is, democracy is getting suppress here, you can only be a yes man to the present government, debating and asking question will put you under the sedition charges.
I am wondering when our constitution gave us freedom of speech then from where this law of sedition came to suppress the questionable mind voices.

New government is very good for development of my Nation but it’s unbalanced. On Global level new PM has right Strategies to make my country rise, even I feel he is a very good businesses man and will raise economical status of my country too, also best speaker in present I can say, but Here comes the unbalanced part new government becoming a dictator, anyone saying anything against it, raise any question, is declared as anti nationalist, when it itself has such a big lacuna of being communal in a secular country, making agenda of making our nation “Hindu Rastra” where our Nation is a country of all religions in the world. Actually in a right way according to me it is a “dharam rastra” ( all religious ppl living different religion following different faith but walking on same path of God, serving the humanity ).

No one is perfect and sadly my this government is too, Earlier one was secular, unbiased, works in reforming poors and women but on same proved to be corrupt. The new one wants to make country modernise, well known Globally, developed from developing, but how will they? if they will not be equal with all citizens of the nation, when youth will be suppress, questionable minds will be killed, raise voices will be shut, hatred will be spread for one another only for having different perspective, Nationality will be define as following particular party  or faith but not with the concern and love one has for their Nation, all this will surely make our Nation hollow from within, then how it will rise ?
May we all can open our eyes, see both sides of coin, stop following blindly the words spread, at least respect and  understand others perspective if can not agree, stop being judgmental for others, and may we all can live with the truth that everyone has their own presumption and assumptions it make them themselves, not a wrong human being. And I  am sure when this change will come in any Nation no one can stop it from being a developed Nation as it’s a sign of a rational, reasonable, educated and vigilant citizens of a nation.

sneha

Thankful to all who met in our way to inspire us more.

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I can’t express my gratitude and how touch I am to find today that I had been nominated for cool blogger liebster award.

Big thanks to Mr. Aishwarya creator of beautiful blog
http://foodforpoetryy.com/ for considering me capable of this. For I myself , never consider me belonging any near to such event..

Though inspite of such an honour and my excitement, I am failing to take an active part in it , because of my being trap @ place with bad internet service..

Ohh God ! This is appetite for my soul, and I am starving badly for not able to access internet properly specially this wordpress site . But that’s what life is, serving you bit, asking you to get adjust with whatever you get , so that you can relish big later..

It’s rightly said if u keep moving on road of life, thn sometime on the way you get some unknown , who without any connection to you, inspires you , give more meaning to you, bring best out of you by showing you hope and faith in you, and unknowingly with their positivity, their light, they enhance your positivity more taking away all the dark trying to trap u in..

sneha

Young blood always foolish with harsh truth of life.

My today morning started with a picture message a simple funny one but it had picture of resuscitation which was fine but my experience with it took me somewhere else. The train of thoughts and memory began running and disturbing me for few hrs..

It was 17 oct evening i remember exactly now, when my brother came running to me saying neighbours calling me their granny not feeling well. Being in a small town and living in a small colony whole neighborhood is knitted like a family, and the old lady was like a grand mother for us too even we called her dadi ( grand mom ) only.

Well doubting the worst I ran to their house as few days back only when I went to see her, I doubted her health and on symptoms which she was telling me I strongly recommend her to go to cardiologist or physician , but she said she lived her life  and it’s her age of being victim of different diseases therefore don’t want to spend money on doctors and trouble her family.

It was her call what could I say , yet i tried my best to counsel her about the worst outcomes if she stay with her decision, but u can always counsel man who is afraid of death or life but never a one who has no will of living and is content with it..

Well back on track, when I reached there I found her sitting on chair with mouth open , eye closed..My heart sank I checked her vitals quickly, no pulsation in radial artery, pupil dilated. I turned numb assuming cardiac arrest and her death from it. But any how collecting my self I ask her daughter-in-law standing near by since how long she is lying like this ? She said just two mins back she was talking to them. I without giving a second thought , checked her carotid artery where there was slight jugular vein pulsation avoiding my seniors practical advice never to give it an attention in old age, I started giving her CPR and mouth to mouth resuscitation, she was my own how can I gave up without trying. She took two short breaths during my trying to resuscitate her which I gave for 10-15 mins with all my energy. I got a hope I shouted her family to react fast and call ambulance.
But it turn out they called me to declare death and not to try to rescue her, I was asking running here and there to act fast. Meantime someone called near by another doctor and he gave the answer they wanted to know, of course why would he try hard on stranger old lady..

Yes practically her chances of survival were least even if acted on time. But young blood failing to accept death practically, felt foolish on trying to turn it away.. I was shocked how elder people ( her son , daughter in law, husband, old senior doctor) accept death so soon and we younger one ( me and her grand child who came later with teared eyes at my door asking I tried all measures to save her na ?) less feared from death , yet how hard we try to beat it and fail to accept it at once…
With time and age acceptance for few things and maturity how to deal with them come no doubt in that now…

sneha

Blogging is a beautiful gift one can give to themselves indeed

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I m not a writer, yet I write here. I m a newbie in this world . sometime I write bad, sometime just fine, sometime worth reading. But whatever I write all is a mirror of my soul and mind. Therefore bad or good all give peace to me once I finish with them.
But this blogging is not only about what we express and how we express but it also give us a chance to read different kind of work , to understand world from others eye, to connect us with anonymous different writers, to live different life through reading their work. Itz like putting yourself in their shoes and living what they felt through their work.
Once in a school i remember we had a story explaining us the importance of reading , how man being in a solitude lived his life and got fine knowledge of world being in an imprisonment for 20 years just by being in a contact with all kind of books and in habit of reading them where as his friend was in depression and living a miserable life in spite of having a good social and family life.
Story remembered here for that’s what this blogging giving us life, inspiration, knowledge of understanding and knowing world better. Yha I agree being social is an important part of life and I m  not a nerd too . But how can i not talk about and praise the thing which is giving me and teaching me so much daily in my life. The platform which give me inspiration from within, make me confident by making me meet myself , the one where i came to know I m not alone whole world is like me. How can I not talk about it.
We all have pains , we all have beauty of life inside. Things shared here are talking about the same in one or other way. When we are disappointed the pain of others give us inspiration if they can live with it then we can live with our’s too. Beauty of life shared here give us hope show us rainbow in dark sky’s giving us a message that life has this beauty and we may get to live it too one day, as we ourselves had lived it a bit while reading it.
Pouring ourselves out give us a peace of mind and soul, confidence to deal with ourselves and the surroundings. Once i read somewhere talking is good , and  keeping things inside kill man. So here is our saviour where we keep talking, keep sharing whatz inside us. Keeping listing what other’s have. And even if someone is lonely they are never alone if they have this beautiful friend with them. Blogging is a beautiful gift one can give to themselves indeed. And I Am thankful to it. I can’t thank every article i read here which make me live them while i m reading them, which inspires me, which teach me something  but through this blog a big thank to them and to wordpress for making me meet and live the new world , new life.

~sneha

p.c. google

My strange relationship with Almighty and Gratitude for yet bestowing his blessings on me.

thank you lord

Geting ready for work seeing myself in mirror and i felt something , i felt grateful to God for he given me so much without asking. I wonder why ? My relationship with Almighty is strange and sometime hard for people to understand. Even sometime people consider me Atheist. I dn’t feel offended though i just wonder do i ?

Being Hindu we have so many rituals, so many ways of showing our love to God but I hardly knew few, I hardly follow few, i rarely fast, i rarely go to temples.Daily going to God place never came in my routine. Even if on my way to work I pass to some Temple, Church or Gurudwara and I feel the calling to stop and pay the visit I shut it and say will get late to work that will not be good and just say short prayer of mine while passing his holy places. Never gave lord special time. Was God happy with me for me dedicated more to my work and life he bestowed to me than to him. I might had not shown my love to him , my faith to him but I never disrespected him and tried my best never to any of his child, I simply get moving what he bestowed me with , I simply went giving what i can . My love, my care, my understanding, my best helping hand to who so ever I met in this life. I believed in serving and relishing his creation more than him .Atheist or not i dn’t know. But i tried to find him in all.

And seeing myself in mirror as a strong , beautiful lady and with all these thoughts playing in my mind i wonder what i did for the lord that he bestowed me with the beauty of a lady to relish, with the brain to b wise, with the power of patience and understanding towards other , with the strength to digest all the pain and enjoy the solitude, with the little weird yet most beautiful family and friends . I dn’t remember anything special i had done for the Lord yet he bestowed me. Rembering all this i felt so thankful and sorry @ the same time not for not being a great lover to lord but if unknowingly i had done something which he dose’nt wanted me to do, had hurt any of his child, in short if unknowingly i had  ever failed Almighty with the purpose he has sent me on this earth.

~Sneha

p.c. google

Delusion of accepting new changes and leaving old behind.

All of sudden life seems to b changing it’s routien, i m not sure to b happy or sad for it, i m in total delusion. I want to enjoy dis new changes but it costing lot to me. I m going to resign next month, frm next month i won’t b geting ready going to hospital, taking rounds, giving morning smiles to patients. No morning drive enjoying morning life @ road. Bt again this was something i wanted , i signed myself for it . so when now the changes are happening why i m scared to lose wat i was having and worrying how i wl b blending in new atmosphere. But then again i think itz human geting scare of new things and still wanting them. I m scared of loosing my comfort zone @ which i m right now. Then new place, new ppl , new life they too will b providing so much to me (hope so) if not much will surely take me bit away from pressure of marriage i m burden wid @ home. I know my parents are not wrong about it but y go with such a big thing for which i feel i m not ready.

I will miss my family , my work for sure but this is something i need for my personal growth, i need to move out from my nest now. I m seeing weird expressions in ppl eyes who know i m leaving, they all bit depended on me and i m on them too. I dn’t know this is my necessity or my only option. As life demands moving on and frm past 3&1/2 yr i m stuck @ same not growing, not moving just stuck so in delusion chages are good or bad ? was stucking, being consistence is good ? or seeing ,trying and experiencing new ?  but whatever this is,  this is choosen by me and I think by God too for me. I simply wish and ask God to  give strength  to  me to move on this path with all patience and faith for life. May new things make me more better wid myself and wid this world.  Huhu finger cross…

( i m leaving my home town for further studies three yr course far away frm here, giving all my savings too it, and my job too , wondering what if it took all and turn out not good for me , bt datz wat life is all about taking risk and trying new callings )

Sneha