Delusion of accepting new changes and leaving old behind.

All of sudden life seems to b changing it’s routien, i m not sure to b happy or sad for it, i m in total delusion. I want to enjoy dis new changes but it costing lot to me. I m going to resign next month, frm next month i won’t b geting ready going to hospital, taking rounds, giving morning smiles to patients. No morning drive enjoying morning life @ road. Bt again this was something i wanted , i signed myself for it . so when now the changes are happening why i m scared to lose wat i was having and worrying how i wl b blending in new atmosphere. But then again i think itz human geting scare of new things and still wanting them. I m scared of loosing my comfort zone @ which i m right now. Then new place, new ppl , new life they too will b providing so much to me (hope so) if not much will surely take me bit away from pressure of marriage i m burden wid @ home. I know my parents are not wrong about it but y go with such a big thing for which i feel i m not ready.

I will miss my family , my work for sure but this is something i need for my personal growth, i need to move out from my nest now. I m seeing weird expressions in ppl eyes who know i m leaving, they all bit depended on me and i m on them too. I dn’t know this is my necessity or my only option. As life demands moving on and frm past 3&1/2 yr i m stuck @ same not growing, not moving just stuck so in delusion chages are good or bad ? was stucking, being consistence is good ? or seeing ,trying and experiencing new ?  but whatever this is,  this is choosen by me and I think by God too for me. I simply wish and ask God to  give strength  to  me to move on this path with all patience and faith for life. May new things make me more better wid myself and wid this world.  Huhu finger cross…

( i m leaving my home town for further studies three yr course far away frm here, giving all my savings too it, and my job too , wondering what if it took all and turn out not good for me , bt datz wat life is all about taking risk and trying new callings )

Sneha

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